When You Feel Like You're On Fire

Throughout this year, my prayer has been to not let myself be angry.  I have plenty to be angry about, but I know how easily anger can lead to bitterness, to hardness, and I never, ever want to become an angry, bitter, hard woman.  I know that I am quick to anger, but I am also quick to finding resolution and peace.

But I am angry.  I am really angry.  I cannot find resolution right now.  I cannot find peace. How can I be angry but not become bitter?

Anger is a secondary emotion to other primary emotions.  It is a secondary reaction to frustration, hurt, disappointment, loneliness, and fear.  But what is the purpose of anger?  Anger is to your emotional state what pain is to your physical state.   It is an indication that something is wrong.  But how do we make it right?  Especially when the wrong is something that we have no control over?

Again, as I’ve discovered in most other areas of my life, birth helps me to find the answers.  How do we deal with anger?  We separate what we have control over from what we do not have control over.  We make decisions that support our ultimate goals.  We let go of what we cannot control.  We move, we release, we breathe deeply, and we gather support.  We don’t rush through it because we know that it can teach us many important tools.  But we also realize that it is a phase, and we won’t be here forever.  There will be something better on the other side of it – if we allow it!

So, my new prayer for this year is to allow anger to do the work it needs to do.  To burn and refine the areas of my life that needs to be set on fire.  And to not let it move me to bitterness, but allow it to help me focus, to push me to surviving, to reaching out for support, and to eventually thriving.