"Helping"

I know he is only trying to help.
Barging in to the room, setting up organizational precedencies that make sense to him, but not to us.  That only serve to create more distraction, more time away from the task at hand.  We spend minutes listening to him babble on and on as to why we must do something a certain way, when we seemed to be doing just fine prior to his interruption. 
He thinks this is helping.  He thinks scolding and threatening punishment is what is needed to turn the child around to becoming a brilliantly organized, full executive functioning capable adult. 
You cannot change a brain's processing through scolding and punishment.  Believe me, in the past twelve years, I've tried it a few (or maybe more than a few) times.  It doesn't work that way.
This is who he is.  As much as you'd like for him to be different, THIS is who he is.  And you cannot wish it away, scold it away, force it away through making him sit in a hard chair facing a wall with his homework.
I have worked with him for twelve years.  I have been his teacher.  I have been his therapist.  I know the intimate workings of his brain.  I have sat by him, walked with him, every step of this journey.  I know him.  I KNOW him. 
I have read the three, four, five dozen books that explain his brain, explain his actions, explain how to help and how to set realistic expectations.  I have read the books that give input, advice, tips and stories of successes.  I have read the warnings and the explanations of why not to do certain things. 
I am his mother.  I have lived, breathed, dreamt, and walked all things that are my son.  There is no one leading me through these steps, so I don't always get them right, but I know him and I know what works and what doesn't. 
And for him to suddenly make his appearance in the daily activities, and assert his opinion and ideas into the ways of our doings, it just doesn't work.  In fact, it makes everything harder.  I want him to be a part of this.  I want him to offer advice and input.  But not when he hasn't lifted a finger in finding out more about what's going on in his son's mind.  When he hasn't been the one teaching him his whole life, who rocked him to sleep, taught him to read, walked him through Beowulf and latin, how can he expect to suddenly believe that he has a better way now? 
When I gently explain that the child needs more encouragement than criticism, he states that he just doesn't have the patience for that.  When you've never taken the time to develop patience, you cannot expect it to grow overnight.  Patience grows in relation to the amount of time you give, the empathy you output, the depth of which you try to understand.  Your child needs your patience NOW.  Not when you decide you have the time to try and understand.  He needs it now, before he's grown and gone.  He needs you.  I need you.
I know he is only trying to help.