I just finished my morning's bible study. We are going through Ecclesiastes ("everything is dust!!"). And today, as I was writing out my application portion for Ecc 7:14, I was reminded of when we first moved to Singapore, and how Jonah was not accepted at ANY of the schools we had applied to for him. And how we were so distraught and how it was a truly horrible, horrible time. And I remember crying out "Why, LORD? Why would you bring us here only to have us go through such a horrible time? Why would you bring us here to punish my son?!" And silly me with my short-sightedness could not imagine in those few months that 6 months into our stay, the Lord would lead us to the exact school he had in place for our son. The place that He had picked out for him early in his life in order that Jonah may be able to fully blossom into who he was supposed to be. He wouldn't have been able to do that at the American school - the one we thought he was supposed to go to. Rejection was hard. VERY hard. But it can be good, too, when rejection leads you to where you are really meant to be.
This. This is so hard. The Lord has a future planned out for me - with or without Carsten. He doesn't revel in my rejection, but He knows, He sees, that there's something better for me in the future, and that the current path I was on was NOT the one I was meant to be on. So why worry about what is happening right now? Worry is wasteful. (that's much easier to say than to believe!) Hindsight is always easier than foresight.
My prayer for the day is that I will see his rejection as a way to put me on the path God wants for me. I really hope that our paths converge again down the road, but God has already written this part of my story, and He knows that hard times are not the final sentences to my story. I just need to put my trust in him every step of the way.
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