Grow and Adjust

As I sit back and look at my life with my four little ones, I like to think back to life before. As I adjusted to one, and then two, then three and finally four. It's amazing to me how well we become adjusted to a new way of life.

When I had one, I just couldn't seem to keep up with the house. The laundry piled up, the dishes as well. By the time I got it all figured out, I had another baby. How having just one child seemed so easy once I had two! Struggling at the grocery store, figuring out how to get two down for naps, trying to balance care and attention between two little boys and then keep up with the house work! When dh would take the older child with him, and I was left with just the one child, I would chuckle at the ease of caring for just one and puzzle over how I was never able to keep up with just one when now that seemed like such a simple thing!
Then the third came along, and the adjustments had to be made again. Now the struggle was over getting the baby down while leaving two mischevious little boys alone to do who knows what! There were things that were easier, and there were things that were more difficult. If dh took one of the boys with him, and I was left with only two, again I'd marvel at how easy it was with one child less, and how I could have ever had difficulties with just two!
Once the fourth came along, I better understood how to keep things going in the house. The older children were more able to help out. There was still the adjustment, but it was easier, because I was better prepared. But, again, when one is away, three seems like a breeze!I am constantly amazed at how we can grow and adjust just as we need to.
Some say they could never handle two children, three children, four children or more. But, you grow with your children. You eventually adjust and learn how to live. You are given just enough patience to handle one moment at a time, and beg God to continue granting His peace, patience and some sanity to make it through another.
While in the midst of the chaos, you wonder how you will ever make it out the other side. Will I ever be able to go to the grocery store without wanting to give my kids tranquilizers? Will I ever be able to just get into the car and go without worrying about everyone's shoes and jackets and buckles and snacks? Will I ever be able to have a home that looks nice, without the littering of toys, the drawings on the walls, the food ground into the carpet? Will I ever sleep through the night again? Will I ever get to go to the bathroom without an audience?
And then, one day you wake up and realize that the chaos has dimmed. Life does not seem as hectic. The kids are in the car, buckled with shoes on and jackets all on their own while you are the one running around the house looking for the keys. They make their own breakfast. You can close the bathroom door. You wake up frantic in the middle of the night and go check on the kids because you think the lack of waking must mean they have died. They no longer ask you to help them dress, to help them wipe, they don't want you to hug and kiss them because they're big kids now. And you wish they were little. You wish they were needy and helpless so that you could help them and feel needed.
Your role as mother has taken on a new look. Slings and nursies are put away. Lego creations and two-wheeled bikes take precedence. They take the grocery list and say, "I can do it, mom." And you're happy and sad and wonder how you are supposed to act as this new stage sweeps over your life.Someday, you'll wake up and they won't be little. And as much as you felt life was so crazy and hectic and out of control while they were little, you wish you could do it again.