I read Tara Kennedy-Kline's article about not supporting feminism with great interest. Raised in a conservative Christian household, I grew up believing feminism was a movement steeped in wanting to kill babies and promoting women as better than men. I grew up to believe feminists were a certain type of evil, and never desired to be a part of those who lauded the greatness of the movement.
But people grow and change and start to think in different ways and here I find myself, a mother of four children, still a strong believer in the redeeming love, grace, and sacrifice of my Saviour Jesus Christ. And, yet, I consider myself a feminist. Do I burn my bras? No. Do I carry signs supporting Planned Parenthood? No. But, I do support the movement which agrees with the words of the Bible which state: "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." (Gen. 1:27) and: "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Gal. 3:28)
Sometimes when one type of people have been oppressed for so long, it takes a very strong push to bring the oppressed out into the open, to allow them to have a voice and to demonstrate their worth until the rest of the world sees that they are not meant to be pressed down, but to be free to thrive in their own right. That is how I see feminism.
Having boys does make us mothers more aware of the negative side of feminism, but being white also makes us more aware of the negative side of white privilege. And being male and white, what privilege my boys have been born into! It is not that feminism is bad, or wrong, or out to get our boys. I am also the mother of two girls. Feminism is about bringing to light a privilege that has been so ingrained that it takes a huge effort to bring the inequalities to light and begin to make things equal. In order to show this, it may feel a little uncomfortable to men (and women) who have lived a certain way for so long, but it doesn't mean that men are bad and women are good. It means that we all need to acknowledge the history of privilege and allow others to also shine without the need to feel less-than.
This author states that: "I want my boys to be chivalrous, to open doors and carry heavy loads, to ask a girl out on a date and pay the bill without expecting anything in return. I am encouraging my sons to tell girls when they think those girls look beautiful. I love that my boys want to surprise me (and eventually their partners) with gifts, and the spontaneous hug or peck on the cheek from time to time to show their love." And I am not saying that her boys - or my boys - should not do this. But why not encourage our children, boys and girls, to do this for all humankind? Why can't our girls open doors for others? Why can't our boys tell other boys that they look nice? Why can't we surprise those we care about with gifts without it being a matter of gender?
Being white, middle class, American males, I need to make sure that my boys are aware of the privilege that they have been born into. They have not earned this privilege, it is a birthright. And with privilege comes responsibilities, and I want my boys to know that they can use their privilege for good or for bad. They can use it to benefit others through the ability to go and serve without worrying about suspicion or how their needs will be met, or they can use it to continue to make others feel less than. I am raising my boys to be aware that what they say and what they do matters. I am raising my girls in the same way. Both my boys and girls are being raised to be strong, to be self-sufficient yet community-minded, to be caring, to be aware of the needs of others, to not be afraid to speak up about injustice. Feminism is not about pushing boys down, it is about making the starting point for boys and girls the same. We are all equally able to serve, equally able to lead, equally able to do good. And I would never want my boys nor my girls to feel that gender prevents them from doing what is right.
My name is Amy, and for the sake of my boys and my girls, I support feminism.
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