Dear Amy,
Welcome to motherhood! Though you are young, you are capable of being the best mother this child could ever have. Being young does not always mean being ignorant. Being young means you have more energy, you have less to let go of, and you have a quick and open mind to fill.
Over the years you will gain more and more wisdom. It’s too bad that we don’t begin our mothering journeys with this wisdom already at hand. I know that it’s out there, and that our mothers and grandmothers have it, but your wisdom will need to come from your own experiences. As you fail and as you succeed, you will learn and grow.
Ten years down the road, you will understand a lot more. And you will understand that you still have a lot to learn. For now, these are some special things I want to share with you.
Trust your instincts. Go with God-made over man-made. God doesn’t make mistakes.
Never feel guilty about taking time to sit and hold, feed, look at, or adore your baby. Your house will look the same tomorrow, but your baby will not. You make more time, not by hurrying, but by focusing on the present, and cherishing the moment.
Everything gets better with time. The saying “this too shall pass” is a mothering motto. I know you want to know right now, fix it right now, figure it out right now. But, give it time. It will get better.
You will need friends. Even if they don’t do things the way you do, they can still be wonderful friends. Keep them around.
He will sleep through the night – all on his own! Forcing things makes it more difficult for every one. He will learn it on his own eventually, and then you’ll miss those sweet night time connections.
Most behaviors are normal. But it’s okay if your child is abnormal. He doesn’t need to be just like everyone else. But chances are, there are a lot more kids out there doing what your child is doing than you think.
You will have enough love and enough patience, even if you feel like you’re running out. It is always there if you open yourself to it.
Playing with your children is important work. Make time for it. Don’t forget how to play.
Mothering is hard work, but you can do it!
You were given all the tools you need to care for this child. Your child will show them to you.
One day, you’ll have your bed back to yourself and it will be marvelous, and lonely.
He will grow up too fast. Try and remember that he is still a baby, even when he seems like he's so big.
Your mom will come to respect you as the mom, and you will come to respect her as your mom.
It’s really no one else’s business how your kid eats, sleeps, pees, poops, or behaves, and you don’t need to discuss it with them.
Protect his innocence.
Let him eat dirt.
You are doing a great job.
Glean wisdom from mothers with older children, but don’t underestimate your own wisdom.
Your child will teach you more wisdom than any books.
Let your child show you when he's ready, and trust him. It works better that way.
Their child is not your child. Your child is not their child. They can’t really understand what it’s like to be you, and that’s okay. You can’t really understand what it’s like to be them.
You won't ruin him, or your other children. They will turn into wonderful, bright, independent, imaginative and caring children because you took the time to love them and respect them.
I know that you will learn all of these things along the way. I just wish I could have known them sooner.
See you in 10 years!
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