When I created this blog six years ago, I remember sitting with a blank mind in front of a blank screen. What do I write? What do I title my blog? How do I sum up what I have yet to write? Somehow, the phrase, “somewhere in-between” emerged from my hovering fingertips. Where it came from I still do not know. At the time, I had a sense that I was living a nomadic lifestyle, wandering without a map. I felt like I was somewhere in-between homes, and somewhere in-between a child and a parent.
Since those first attempts at putting thought onto screen, I have gradually come to understand that I did not pick the name for this blog, but rather the name picked me. I live the life of somewhere in-between. Whether it’s another upcoming move, a change of jobs, diet, or new phase of childhood, I feel like my life is always in the midst of some sort of beautiful chaos. And this blog has helped me through the last six years to find contentment in my chaos.
Tripping through a life of in-between means hard transitions, exciting new challenges, and scary unknowns. For you, it might be the time between graduating and college or a job, the time between when a child is born and when he or she leaves the house, the time between one job and another, the preparation for a move, or the time of pregnancy. Each of these in-between times pulls a person from one form of life and propels them toward another.
My life is muddled with in-betweens at any given moment. Right now, the biggest in-between journey for my family is my husband’s year-long deployment. This year is a vast space of separation between bookends of him being with us, and at moments that space can seem endless. While the choice to be in-between may not be mine, how I deal with it is.
Life is a journey between destinations. Sometimes all that I can see is the destination, and I forget to appreciate the journey. I can get so absorbed and focused with where I’m headed, or want to be headed, that my eyes and mind blur out the time in between. Sometimes, I want to just tune out during my in-betweens. I don’t want to be there, and I’m going to try and sleep my way through until the end. But life occurs during the in-between times. If I don’t pay attention during that time, I will miss out on most of my life.
The journey between destinations is where learning and growing take place. Think about learning to ride a bike, having a baby, or going to school. The falls, the labor, the endless hours of learning – these are probably not what you desire to have for the rest of your life, but it’s what gives you the growth, abilities, and tools to succeed at your destination. I know that my journeys through in-betweens prepare me greatly for my destinations.
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Romans 5:1-5
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
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Enjoy the in-between, but don’t get stuck there. Sometimes I become afraid of the destination, afraid of change, and get comfortable with the in-between. I’ve seen this happen to women in labor, I’ve seen this happen to college students, and I’ve seen it happen when I’m not ready to move on.
Fear and unresolved issues can stop a woman’s dilation or stop labor all together.
Fear and unresolved issues can keep you stuck in a holding pattern for your life.
Letting go is an incredible concept to learn. I know this personally. I literally could not let go of the bed rail while in labor with my second child. I may have looked fully relaxed, but my hand was holding on to that rail for dear life. I felt that if I were to let go, the power of the contractions would physically sweep me off the bed. I was afraid. The contractions were stronger than my mind’s ability to control my body. But only when I was able to consciously give up my mind’s control over my body, and let go of the bed rail, then I was able to move forward in my labor and bring something new into my life. In life it can be the same. Only when we release our attempts to control what is not ours to control, do we have the ability to move on. It took me a long time to be able to release my tight grasp of control on my life and just let it flow through God’s river that is His plan for me. Letting go of our fears, of the things we can’t change, of our past, and our plans for the future. Letting go, and letting God take over can be hard, but it is what will usher us through the transition into a new phase of life. And the end result is worth it!
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Matthew 6:31-34
“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
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The in-between can really suck. Attitude makes the difference. A lot of times, I really do not like the in-between times. But how well that time goes, and how much I learn during that time, really does depend on how I deal with it. When I wallow in my grief and self-pity, when I lay in my pool of anger and despair, things don’t get better. Days drag on, and everyone is miserable. I’ve found my way to being content with my in-betweens. It’s a combination of a heart of thankfulness, focusing on what is good in my life, getting through one day at a time, keeping my eye on the prize, and knowing that there’s a purpose for this time. Pain with a purpose, such as in childbirth, is always better than pain for the sake of pain!
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Philippians 4:4-7
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
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